Silverstein "Apologize" Cover [Music Video]

Im Thankful!!

This thanksgiving has been by far my favorite. I spent the day with my family and we had dinner and we were crazy as usual. I went to a movie with the Sprouls and me and Sarah saw tangled. cute movie. She always amazes me. I forget she is younger than i am because i look up to her so much. She is a wonderful sister to have i am so thankful for her. I dont know where i would be without her, she keeps me in line and tells me when i am being dramatic haha i love that girl! there are no words to descibe her she is just wonderful. I just love that family may i tell you. They have all in a way influenced me so much. i know i can be a handful and be annoying but they still welcome me into their home and take me in. I love them all! I came back and Spence and I decided we were going to do the all nighter black friday thing. ya that was a blast! he is a good man. some days he drives me crazy but he is a light to me. I know i often say things like ah he makes me mad! im just dramatic and he is really wonderful and he is a best friend i could ask for. I dont deserve him most days. we were pretty trashed when we got home. Oh my nap for a long time. But it was fun to be with him and the guys! even tho they all looked like rock stars and i looked like queen of the dead haha they are great. I really cant say enough about this family. they are pretty much just frickin awesome!! mayfan makes me laugh and i get to play around with him thats always fun haha mom she just rocks i love her! she and i decorate or something and no matter what it is its fun because she is hillarious! she also helps me through everyday life... not an easy task most days my hat goes off to her. im pretty thankful for both of my families. im pretty lucky.

So life does not go the way that we think or hope. we all know this by now. life is not fair nor fun all the time. I am reading this book its called just listen and i love it! it makes me mad but it makes you think a the same time. I hope that the next few years fly by. i am going to just lose myself in school and work and who cares if it makes me happy. ya gotta do what you gotta do

Just listen

oooohhhh i am so mad! I didn't think it was to much to ask to be treated with a little respect! gosh i just wanna ah! im so glad my best friend can be around when i need him... not... its only me there for him never the other way around. Gosh life gets so so old! i need a vacation or something im gonna freak out. I really would like to just tell him what i think but i cant even do that! so much for just call if you need me. i get a reply don't text me. as mean and rude and dick like as that is! fine i am silent from now on! why can it not be time to go home?! I would really like that. I doubt there is drama there and as we all saw yesterday the world is just a dark place. I want to go home.

Communication people! really!

I don't understand why people cant communicate! i hate when things are left unsaid and it just festers. ah! he drives me crazy! just for once i want everything to work out and go smoothly. that would really just knock me over dead if it went that way. whatever i have to go to work so he can be mad at me all night if he feels like it. i tried not much else i can do.

Temples and CTR ring!

WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! ordered my new CTR ring today:) have not had one since i was like 8! the new temple picture is coming this week too, what a good week of buying stuff!

Yellow,Pink,Orange,Blue,Purple,Green.... ah!!! Organization scares me

I just color coated my life and it makes me wanna cry!!! I like to take things week by week as far as assignments go. i look at them all and i wanna cry. I mean it could be worse but it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about all of it lol i want to be successful in school so this stresses me out so bad! oh gosh. Oh and i have a creepy stalker he follows me around campus and he tells me i have a sexy body and eh he is freaky and im gonna pack some safe stuff as my dad calls it lol the sharp kind with mace on them lol

a

OK so yeah reading the last few of these oh boy I'm dramatic! uh school is good. there is a creepy kid in my history class man!!! oh gosh he like follows me and he like texts me and asks for pictures... uh.... NO GO MAN!! dude he looks like a druggy. im sure he is wonderful and has a sweet spirit but he freaks me out a bit... uh i was told today im not a good leader because i have never smoked Mary Jane lol the things you learn in college! hahahahaha i found my prom dress today and was like remembering and man that has to be one of the happiest memories i have. "waiting for your call im sick call im angry call im desperate for your voice listening to the song we used to sing in the car do you remember butterfly early summer is playing on repeat just like when we would meet cus i was born, to tell you i love you. and i am torn to do what i have to to make you mine stay with me tonight" ahhh perfect memory! perfect night

I am moving out as soon as possible. i am so sick and tired of her winning! i lock my door and my freakin mom opens it for her! ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!!??? room is ransacked and im so done! i just want to scream! if this is what i get for being the caring daughter who works all night and has been home today for oh like 4 minutes well then im out of here! this is freakin rediculous!!! She is not going to win! evil little brat

Two beds and a coffee machine

So i have been sick the past two days right and so this morning i woke up got ready for school and i get there and i brought the books for my Tuesday Thursday classes. So Sarah you got your way ha I'm home from school. But as I was driving OK well i always think every song i know is my life story right. well i was listening to A Savage Garden song its called Two Beds And A Coffee Machine and its more my moms life but it made me cry this morning! maybe its from being sick and being emotional but it broke my heart. It makes me have more respect for my mom though

"Two Birds and a Coffee Machine"

And She takes another step slowly she opens the door,
check that he is sleeping, pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming now its time to get away pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write

And there are children to think of babies asleep in the backseat
wonder how they'll ever make it thorough this living nightmare, but the mind is an amazing thing.
full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine but there are groceries to buy and she knows she'll have to go home

Another ditch in the road you keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast, wonder how i ever made it through

Another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write another lonely highway in the black of night.
but there is hope in the darkness you know your gonna make it

Another ditch in the road keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on and the years go by so fast silent fortress built to last wonder how i ever made it though ooh ooh ooh ooh...


crazy its my moms life story, her and my dad didnt do so well but she had three babies and she still made it. She is pretty strong

Oh My Flippin Crap!!!!

This is going to be interesting because I'm mad and hurt so look out. I HATE CANCER!!!!! cancer needs to get cancer and die because it keeps taking good loving people!! It makes me sick! it splits families, it hurts people and nothing good comes from it! why do good people have to die so young! there are millions of low life's and mean ,evil people who live till they are old and then a good man who is an inspiration to so many ,who has a loving family and has affected so many peoples lives has to go so early. i know that its life and that its how things work but that does not mean that i have to like it one bit! call this a break down but that's today! I hate when bad things happen to good people. its not fair and ya life is not fair but still.
I miss my best friend and I'm driving myself crazy trying to even let it be a semblance of normal. i have not slept and i cant eat a lot because i worry to the point of making myself sick. I cant fix anything at home. i can continue to be the hated one i don't really care anymore. that just keeps kicking me in the gut. I know that i don't have it totally bad. there are so many things to be thankful for. I just am having a melt down. I want my life to be what i want it to be but i cant even get close to it because there is always something getting in the way. I cant be the daughter my parents want even if my mom Denys that, i know that i still have the other two who think i suck and don't do anything right. I pretty much have to give that up because i have dealt with it since i was like 4 years old and ya know you can only get slapped in the face so many times. I am not a good sister because they hate me. I cant even talk to Alyssa because she just hates me and i cant do anything for Austin. Kaden and Braxton don't care. I feel like i cant do anything right. I have The Sprouls and bless them they are a heaven sent to me. They don't know how much they have taught me or have helped me. Sarah is like a sister to me i love her to death! we are pretty crazy but i love her to death. Suz man she keeps me going, she is so amazing she can talk to me and make me want to just buck it up and do things my way to make it better for me some days. i could go through the entire family for real. Mayfan ha love that little guy he is awesome! keeps me laughing. Bren helps a lot ha he tells me to do things for me and blow a bunch of money on me haha Jim, he changed me a lot. i did not get to know him for long but gosh he helped me in a lot of ways. He always had a joke for me even if he was way sick. he wow he is amazing. Spencer haha well love him to death he is an amazing man he will say he is not but he has changed my life. church is back because of him and he brought me home haha he may regret that one but i think God for Spencer every night. He drives me crazy some days and i miss him but he has really made me who i am. he may roll his eyes but he is truly amazing. He will never understand how much i think of him how highly i think of him if you will because well he is humble and will say ya right but i cant really express it to him. Its been a blessing that i met him that day at work. who would have thought.
I have to say i am thankful for my mom tho. most days we wanna kill each other but she is a good mom. she has been though a lot of crap and she drives me nuts but she is trying to help me and make me into a better person. Its not easy being a single mom and she does a pretty good job.
well now that i pretty much just threw up all my issues i feel a litte better. its not even all of them but dang. sorry if you had to read all of that im a sissy.

Kelsie is now a Wildcat!

Today was my first adventure of college! cute boys? eh some.. most had girls on their arms lol but it was kinda fun i think im going to like it! its totally new and its a new Kelsie! hope the Buckle thing comes through

home?

I am sitting at home... wow its so weird! like i have not been home all day for a long time! i like dont know what to do.. this is weird! uh so got a makeover because i let myself go to crap a little haha now im waiting for my hair color ahhh! thank heavens because its looking kinda blonde again and thats a no no! wow i so have nothing to write.. off to do the laundry!!!! its been like 3 months so guess i need to do that... eh

HUMAN DEVELOPMENT!!!!

I got my books today for school and by far my favorite book is my Human Development book. How a baby forms and all of that is just amazing to me! Some day when i am very much older and very much married i cant wait to have the experience! so cool!

College............ aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Well the last few months have been crazy. There was the crying and heartache and the confusion then it sort of got better and then came stress!! yay! hahaha bet you didnt see that coming! yes college starts pretty soon and the stress of holy crap im not a kid anymore i have to be an adult, ya that will get ya... I kinda decided on my major, scares me to death because its a big one; nursing. ya i hope i can do it. the needles in my arm scare the living crap out of me! for some reason people think i can do it. Mom and Suzanne seem to think its possible. But college is big and well you screw that up and you work at McDonalds! yep you can tell your kids you just could not do it... ya hence kelsies ulcer!! im glad Sarah takes care of me tho she is amazing! she lets me take her shopping for bling booty jeans! oh ya haha as much as Spencer must hate it hey the girl looks good! uh i cant remember what i was gonna put on here but i do remember that i am starving!!! wish i could get a rice bowl... not gonna happen.

Weber State scary or fun?

Well uh been kinda busy to write but uh i went to my Weber State thing yesterday and that was pretty crazy... kinda scary but im kind of excited to go. There is not much goin on now. i have been with Suzanne and Jim the last few days helpin out and now i have no idea what i wanted to write...

im slightly less translucent!!!!

i am totally tan!!! yes!!! swimming everyday has made me less see through! its quite exciting! before the party mom grandma and i were chillin at the pool and i was layin out in my chair with some awesome music playing; dog like vultures!!! its epic! and i was just relaxed and it was uber nice!! i think grandma is into haste the day haha she was doing her little head nod to them. thats what i call an awesome hip gma! haha but uh we were talking about my grandpa because his birthday was recent and wow he was flippin awesome! i like to hear their story. They met in Biology and he cut up her frog and she knew he was the one funny! but uh she was like oh bobs mother and i were very close. she would always call and tell me what bob had said after he had been on a date with someone else(they were 15 when they met) at 18 they were married. how crazy is that! my grandma was my age when she got married! thats just crazy to me. She said it was not always easy and i was like uh no! ha but they talked about my birthday and so of course they had to talk about when i was a baby and how terrible i was haha but my mom had her work cut out for her! she had me and i was colicy and guess i almost died at one point? i dunno but i have had a blessing once!! cool!!! but um then she had twins! haha i was an annoying child so poor thing must have wanted to pull her hair out! i was kinda wild... but its my dads fault for giving me coke as a one year old!! thats right been fighting off the addiction since i was one! hahaha thanks dad!!! he said iwas too cute and would do my hand sign for coke and he could not resist it so guess the daddy thing worked even back then! haha. After swimming Bray came over and we swam somemore and we went and ate it was fun. good friends and good food. now im gonna do it all over again!! its girls night tonight so look out world!!!!

Boys.... you all are just so confusing

why must boys be so stupid? i dont quite understand it. they say the most hurtful things i wonder if they really understand how it hurts us. i was talking to Bray the other day and he always helps me feel better when im down. he is like my best girlfriend haha but um i have been going through somethings lately and i have no Spencer which is killing me i miss him like crazy. but its funny because Bray and i really are like girls lol we are weird, i know i can tell him anything tho. its very diffrent than me and Spencer, spence knows everything about me and for some reason he sticks around even when its hard. well sometimes but b just is someone who i can vent to and like he is just a good friend. ahh i go crazy during this tourcher fest and i really miss him. i hope he is having fun...

"I never said it would be easy, i only said it will be worth it."

wow i love weddings may i just say! so a friend got married right so i go and have my dress on and all that jazz and wow this boy.... we will stop there lol he is so hot! but uh today has been kinda normal but not boring i had an ok day. i went swimming with the brothers and cousin. ya swimming with 3 younger boys is not so fun lol i was there to get my tan on. totally! but um last night and yesterday was really hard for me. i had break downs not fun. but like i fell asleep and had a cool idea so i got on here and was looking up lesson plans and stuff and like i found some good ones on the worth of a soul and i love it! makes you stop and think its pretty much amazing. i was reading last night and ok so i have been fasting for a long time k so i really want what im fasting for and so i was praying before i went to be last night and it was crazy long! but i have trouble with scriptures i dont really apply them well so spence said to me that i need to pray for help so i did and i just opened up my scriptures and i turned to Mosiah 4 an was reading it and wow it was so cool! like i was reading it and it was totally things i wanted to hear i just thought that it was cool that after i really took spencers advice i got something out of it. pretty cool! but Mosiah is like really awesome i love this book like one of my favorite scriptures is in there its chapter 24:14 it says " and i will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs,even while you are in bondage; and thsi will i do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know the surety that i, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions ." it totally gives me like that safe feeling that you can turn to God and he will help you with your burdens and trials because heaven knows i have had my share and so have the people i love and we continue to have them and still struggle with some. but i like how you can rely on God no matter what. like it may not be in your time frame you want it to be but he will not abandon you when you truely need him. i think that the lord knows your heart and he knows your stuggles so if your trying to better yourself then why would he not help you and yes sometimes he may have to test that faith and sometimes your not strong enough but he will help you until you can do it. well my personal opinion anyways. i sometimes get greedy and say God why have you not helped im trying to do things right and i want to change so very bad but i feel like its still hard for me. he will help in his time he knows us and loves us he wont leave us. i like it. sorry kinda a random little scripture moment thingy but i just like that feeling that he wont leave you.

bring on the ice cream please!!!

well its been a long time since i have been on here. uh life has been pretty crazy i was up at the Sprouls a lot this week Jim had to go back into the hospital poor guy was doing so much better then all of the sudden he was sick. he is a fighter tho he will be back on his feet in no time. i stayed with Sarah and Nate when Spencer took his parents to LDS Hospital and we kinda just watched some tv and next thing i know i wake up and its like 3 am and sarah is crashed on the couch with me. i woke up to go to the bathroom and next thing i know someone is pounding on the door, it scared me so bad! i open the door and its Spencer i was like dude! i guess he got home went to bed and heard me get up and came up with his baseball bat! he was gonna kill me lol he thought i was a burgular? but i went home after that. I have been up there a lot. i wont be for a long time and that makes me really sad. Ice cream here i come. But ya know if i didnt love the boy so much i wouldnt do this two or three or whatever thing. If it helps him i am all for it. sucks for me because i miss him like crazy but what can you do. hope this goes by faster than it has been today. i kinda had a break down today when that stupid Carrie underwood song just a dream came on. scares me to death. i had a really good cry tho, i made myself sick with the crying so that tells you. But i know he can do it. Prayer and fasting and turning it over to the lord is what i am going to do. I told Spencer that i want to go to the temple with him. so we are workin tward that. then fars!! totally a tradition. But we will see how the next few weeks play out. i hope they go fast. I dislike when my best friend is totally gone for weeks at a time. i just have to keep telling myself this is for him. ahhh lots of prayer thats all we need

whoooooooooo! graduate of Roy High of 2010! YES!

I am finally out of high school! i will maybe miss it but right now its just awesome! yesterday was amazing! i got the new dress and the new shoes!( flippin sexy red shoes!, thank you carlin!) i curled the hair and had on nice earrings and a necklace. I got to walk! for a long time i was pretty scared that i was not going to but it was worth it! its a cool feeling i will tell you that; kinda scary tho because its like now what i am resposible for the rest of my life from here on out! ahhhhhh! scary!! I went to lunch with Spencer, so glad he could come! it totally made it that much better. I had lunch with spence, mom, candice, dusti and the twins and that was fun! i didnt wanna go to the senior party because i was wasted tired and i had a better night anyways. Spencer and i watched scary movies! Haunting in Conneticut was scary!!! he even jumped lol it was funny but i was like scared to go anywhere alone after that, even after i dropped him off i was still kinda sketchy haha im a loser yes i know. Thank you everyone who came and thank you for everything! you guys are amazing i could not have asked for anything better. it was truely perfect!

im getting nervous here. I have not heard from byu yet and i kinda would like to know if i am going to graduate from high school. since its like three days away good to know....

Choir good thing im almost through with you!!

ok so who is the jerk who thought "we should have choir practice at flippin 5 am!" I really dislike them as of now. Im so skipping school and sleeping until i have to go to work. Maybe i wont be so pissed off. I hate when people think that they know how you should live your life better than you! Stupid Dugan....... ah! im a big girl and what i do is my business not yours, if i wanted your opinion i would ask for it. Im so sick of people. Thank goodness high school is almost over forever! I have to go to the dr. not excited. My Aunt (who was a nurse) and my Uncle( he is a heart dr.) think that they know why my hands hurt so bad and why i cant move them sometimes and why they are purple. Its called Raynauds Disease and they think i have it because i have all the symptoms. Not fun to hear. At least i have better health tho. i could complain and say oh my gosh my hands and feet hurt and get all distorted but i really am lucky because there are so many other things that could be wrong with me. Like i could still have the cancer in my arm, good thing they found it early. anywho... did my 10 wishes the other day and that was fun, i hope mrs. webb picks mine because most of mine were for the Sprouls because i think they need something fun and non stressful. They are amazing people, i love that family. I find out on Monday so fingers crossed!!! Well im pissy so im going to go to sleep

Crazy times

off to find a dress for graduation... sister wont go with me. Failed attempt. But i guess i will go by myself, V is working and so are the girls. darn oh well. I would like to take spence but i dont think he cares and he has cross fit so its kinda hard lol I may take the mother... we will see.
The flippin concert was really hard for me for some reason. I cried like a baby when they sang farewell oh man and the school song just made it that much worse. Im glad that i had him there, even tho i felt really stupid! i dont like to cry in public but oh well , every senior was crying even the men so its ok. Anything you can do i can do better was well epic fail... funny tho! good last concert!

cus i want you so.... take a chance on me... werid song

Choir concert..... eh.. I get to be creeper. Take a chance on me will be funny me and joy white girl party in the back! pretty much awesome! the other one well i dont know the words and its just scary lol it will be funny. i have a little bit until 6:30 thats when i die of embarassment! oh gosh

Walmart Woman eh.. but Senior Sluff day.. Priceless

This woman at walmart is really ticking me off!! she wont let me pick up my prints for my graduation announcements! I have been down there 3 times today. Senior Sluff day was today and i went to choir! how dumb it that! i had to and i was dancing and singing and oh boy, i was pretty hyper at this point and i creeped on Kip and it was really funny! he freaked out lol Kip, Adam and I went to eat and just kinda chill after choir and it was really fun. We like were car dancing and all that jazz it was awesome. I had a great day.. except for walmart woman... Grr... but what can you do. well i made some soy sauce chicken:) see ya

For gosh sakes its been crazy times

AHHHHH!!!! this weekend and week has been really hard on me. Things all hit the fan, when they hit man they hit hard. I just want things to be ok. I know that there is the saying that christ said he said " I never said it would be easy, i only said it would be worth it." well i think i get the it not being easy thing lol someone once said that i should not complain of the trials i get because it means that god trusts me with more. I have to keep thinking that to myself sometimes. I really try not to be like oh poor me, there are lots of people who have things so much worse than i do and i need to just be ok with me and my situation and trials. I guess this means that i need to pray really that much harder. I think i can do that one. I am very blessed to have people who love me and would do so much for me; they have shown that to me within the last little while. Count your Blessings is going to be my theme song i decided lol But anyways sorry i will get off my soap box! I made dinner tonight and i was like hey it was not totally bad!!!..... It may have been hamburger helper but hey, who is really keeping tabs on it lol I tried cookies to cheer everyone up and well i took austin to walmart and i forgot they were short on time and burned them.. so much for that idea right! haha i so dont claim betty crocker. But uh ya thats just about it i think.

Long weekend.... I got one good night out of it at least.

Working all weekend really kills you. I feel so sick right now. Like i think it was because i worked way late and for a long time so i am just beat. I didnt sleep really well last night. I keep having weird dreams and its freakin me out. I know who they are now i think so uh that is werid. I think i am broken. I was ok with it with the first girl it was not weird at all i loved it actually. But anyways uh... I got to go with Sarah to shop for Suzanne for mothers day and that was really fun. We had our secret mission of the day. I flippin love his family, i think i have said that once on here but they are amazing, they are always so good to me and i mean come on i can just chill with them when he is gone or whatever i think its awesome. The other day Suzanne said she was going to adopt me lol I pretty much have a stalker and he followed me home from work and so i was texting Sarah and she said to get my butt over there so i stopped in because dude Seth is flippin creepy!! i was scared to death. Suzanne was ready for a fight it was awesome haha she was like makin sure he was not driving by again or like waiting down the street. She had me come in for a little bit and oh man i totally crashed out on the new couch. Like Spencer came home and i was half asleep and uh i was freaking out cus i didnt know he would be back that soon. Sarah and i were layin down watching miss congeniality? ya i cant spell it oh well. But uh and the rest of the night is kinda blurry. Spencer told me what happend and i was like really? i was awake for the first part when he and i were layin there but i totally crashed out hard and he couldnt wake me up. Pretty funny to hear about it i laughed so hard lol i have not slept in weeks and i finally got to sleep and so i guess i crashed so hard that spencer would talk to me and i would like not even do anything haha embarassing i think so!!! I didnt have to be a total loser and spend Senior Cotillion alone. I am glad because i wanted to go really bad. Oh well i still got to spend some time with him and thats really all i can ask for i was happy for the time i got with him. totally worth it.16 days left till graduation.... count down totally. It wont come soon enough for two reasons. eh i better go to school... lame i hate choir and fashion, stupid class im tellin ya. Off to more work.. yay?

Drunk Cowboys....

Dude i just got home from work!!! long long night! i work tomorow and sunday also... not happy about working on sunday. I want to just sleep for the next month! even tho Courtney is awesome and we had so much fun! we made ourselves sick with mushrooms. i feel like i am like 6 months pregnant! look it too hahaha i love the people i work with i gotta say! drunk cowboys need to leave early tho because we were there for so long i about died. Then i got called a B and got swore at! stupid seth! but i was jammin on my way home from work to dont cha and fat lip! good songs! I really miss spencer tho. i try to not show it and be fine but i miss him pretty bad.

Dinosaur Park!!

So today was the preschool feild trip to the Dinosaur park! it was really fun! I am almost 18 and was running and playing like the 4 year olds....sad? maybe lol Hey its fun i love it! Kids say the darndest things im telling you. It makes me laugh so hard the things i hear in preschool! goodness. I still am eating the snacks we jacked! I am so tired! i woke up and was like totally comfortable like in the best sleep i have had in weeks and i had to get up! i was so ticked! i rolled out of bed and slumped to the shower and fell... haha ya not the best. But I get to work tonight in the back so maybe i will get some good tips? maybe. Spencers birthday and mothers day is just around the corner so i am not really spending any money on me right now. Seminary Graduation is on the 20th, ya awesome i get to go alone... i am alone for Preschool Graduation also. wow. uh I dont know why i just put all that on here.... its what i do in yearbook! but uh i hope spencer is happy i have not had coke in a really long time and i wanted to have one the other day but no.. i kept thinkin man when spencer talks to me he will be mad if i have one. eh i am so gonna sleep tomorrow because everyone else will be at senior cotillion... sad for me. I was gonna ask someone but its not in the cards this month so i am gonna like i dunno chill? my fam will be gone for part of the night so maybe i will make my own spa or something. Sleep works to. I cant wait till this month is over. I want to have things back to normal, well some since of the word. That would get me out of this little state im in i think. Anywho i am just writing on nothing so im gonna end this

Why must creepers be in Royal choir!?!?

I just saved my Fashion grade! It was at an F and i just did everything we have ever done in like 3 hours! dude thats epic. One thing gone right today... the rest i wanted to just cry. Oh dancing in choir, ya not a fan! Abba is pretty awesome Take a Chance on me, but creeper moves is not good! i dont like to creep on guys i have been to school with since like i was small. Then you have the total creeps who try stuff in the dance... AH!!! not good! Oh well Supernatural is on tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's gonna be flippin awesome! i so have lasted this day just to watch it. its day two without talking to Spencer hope he is doing better and all. I Love him and want nothing but for him to be happy. He was in my dream last night it seemed really real! it was crazy. One of those days when you just dont want to wake up because your dreams are so much better and less complex than real life. I talked to Sarah today, i flippin love her. I really like Spencers family. His mom is just awesome, i can totally just chill with her and sarah without spence around and its so fun! not saying its fun because he is not with us! not true. but i like that i can be chill with them. Uh.... now i have to write a two page paper on my pet peeve haha its a persuasive paper. so i better get off....

I GET IT!!!

So I realize i wrote today already but i just got back from a meeting with my bishop and we were talking about how to be happy; something i need help with. He said that reading the scriptures and praying and then he showed me a scripture i cant remember where it was in 1 Nephi but it said that you need your family and friends. Gotta help the fam... friends i need to realize who is a true friend. But I also said i want to be able to understand the scriptures better and he showed me 1 Nephi 15:7-9 i think and like it made since to me! it made me really happy. I need to pray for those i love, I pray for one really really well. But i need to pray for my family and even people i dislike. that is hard for me but im gonna try it! im glad that no one reads this haha but uh anywho just had to vent it!

Crazy Day!!! Day 1 also.....eh

Well today was totally crazy!! Woke up late and had to get ready like crazy fast. I get to school and remember that we are going to t.g.i fridays for yearbook and need my permission slip so i run to my moms office during second period... english.. and get it signed! I run into Tommy and thats always a thrill.....NOT!.... and then i come back for paint day in preschool!!! i was so excited, i wore like kinda ugly clothes so paint would not ruin the good ones; Paint day was canceled!!! we played at the playground instead. But we get to fourth period and we go eat. oh man im gonna miss Dunny and her crazy dance moves! Teachers are crazy. But liz was dancing like a crazed woman in her car oh man i was rollin! i thought there was a bee in her car! hahahaha. oh my and i beat v to tgi and she was ticked haha i got to listen to some Haste The Day and some Papa Roach on my way down it was awesome! and uh ya trying to stay busy for the next month. I miss him but i can do this for him! I love him. I am just tryin to make the best out of my situation. Hence the blog.... but I am gonna go die on my couch from the massive Brownie!!! ahh!! so good!

Eh...

So I decided that drama is just not fun. I wish that life was just simple like it was in the old days. Everything is so hard now. They say that getting older is fun... well i have news for you! its so stressful! Graduation, Relationships, Family, Friends; It all gets harder. Relationships just kill you. I swear every Secondhand Serenade song is my life story! sad yet true. My mom calls it my emo life haha! But anywho i just made realationships sound bad. They so are not! I just want to fix mine.... Like Fix You by Secondhand.... yes I just did that, haha loser. But guess things take time and healing first. I just hope it gets easier because this is so hard!

So I was trying to get this thing for my Grandma Kendall and to show Suzanne the prom pictures? dunno how this dealy works. I get extra credit if i have one of these so hence the blog:)