Boys.... you all are just so confusing

why must boys be so stupid? i dont quite understand it. they say the most hurtful things i wonder if they really understand how it hurts us. i was talking to Bray the other day and he always helps me feel better when im down. he is like my best girlfriend haha but um i have been going through somethings lately and i have no Spencer which is killing me i miss him like crazy. but its funny because Bray and i really are like girls lol we are weird, i know i can tell him anything tho. its very diffrent than me and Spencer, spence knows everything about me and for some reason he sticks around even when its hard. well sometimes but b just is someone who i can vent to and like he is just a good friend. ahh i go crazy during this tourcher fest and i really miss him. i hope he is having fun...

"I never said it would be easy, i only said it will be worth it."

wow i love weddings may i just say! so a friend got married right so i go and have my dress on and all that jazz and wow this boy.... we will stop there lol he is so hot! but uh today has been kinda normal but not boring i had an ok day. i went swimming with the brothers and cousin. ya swimming with 3 younger boys is not so fun lol i was there to get my tan on. totally! but um last night and yesterday was really hard for me. i had break downs not fun. but like i fell asleep and had a cool idea so i got on here and was looking up lesson plans and stuff and like i found some good ones on the worth of a soul and i love it! makes you stop and think its pretty much amazing. i was reading last night and ok so i have been fasting for a long time k so i really want what im fasting for and so i was praying before i went to be last night and it was crazy long! but i have trouble with scriptures i dont really apply them well so spence said to me that i need to pray for help so i did and i just opened up my scriptures and i turned to Mosiah 4 an was reading it and wow it was so cool! like i was reading it and it was totally things i wanted to hear i just thought that it was cool that after i really took spencers advice i got something out of it. pretty cool! but Mosiah is like really awesome i love this book like one of my favorite scriptures is in there its chapter 24:14 it says " and i will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs,even while you are in bondage; and thsi will i do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know the surety that i, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions ." it totally gives me like that safe feeling that you can turn to God and he will help you with your burdens and trials because heaven knows i have had my share and so have the people i love and we continue to have them and still struggle with some. but i like how you can rely on God no matter what. like it may not be in your time frame you want it to be but he will not abandon you when you truely need him. i think that the lord knows your heart and he knows your stuggles so if your trying to better yourself then why would he not help you and yes sometimes he may have to test that faith and sometimes your not strong enough but he will help you until you can do it. well my personal opinion anyways. i sometimes get greedy and say God why have you not helped im trying to do things right and i want to change so very bad but i feel like its still hard for me. he will help in his time he knows us and loves us he wont leave us. i like it. sorry kinda a random little scripture moment thingy but i just like that feeling that he wont leave you.

bring on the ice cream please!!!

well its been a long time since i have been on here. uh life has been pretty crazy i was up at the Sprouls a lot this week Jim had to go back into the hospital poor guy was doing so much better then all of the sudden he was sick. he is a fighter tho he will be back on his feet in no time. i stayed with Sarah and Nate when Spencer took his parents to LDS Hospital and we kinda just watched some tv and next thing i know i wake up and its like 3 am and sarah is crashed on the couch with me. i woke up to go to the bathroom and next thing i know someone is pounding on the door, it scared me so bad! i open the door and its Spencer i was like dude! i guess he got home went to bed and heard me get up and came up with his baseball bat! he was gonna kill me lol he thought i was a burgular? but i went home after that. I have been up there a lot. i wont be for a long time and that makes me really sad. Ice cream here i come. But ya know if i didnt love the boy so much i wouldnt do this two or three or whatever thing. If it helps him i am all for it. sucks for me because i miss him like crazy but what can you do. hope this goes by faster than it has been today. i kinda had a break down today when that stupid Carrie underwood song just a dream came on. scares me to death. i had a really good cry tho, i made myself sick with the crying so that tells you. But i know he can do it. Prayer and fasting and turning it over to the lord is what i am going to do. I told Spencer that i want to go to the temple with him. so we are workin tward that. then fars!! totally a tradition. But we will see how the next few weeks play out. i hope they go fast. I dislike when my best friend is totally gone for weeks at a time. i just have to keep telling myself this is for him. ahhh lots of prayer thats all we need