whoooooooooo! graduate of Roy High of 2010! YES!

I am finally out of high school! i will maybe miss it but right now its just awesome! yesterday was amazing! i got the new dress and the new shoes!( flippin sexy red shoes!, thank you carlin!) i curled the hair and had on nice earrings and a necklace. I got to walk! for a long time i was pretty scared that i was not going to but it was worth it! its a cool feeling i will tell you that; kinda scary tho because its like now what i am resposible for the rest of my life from here on out! ahhhhhh! scary!! I went to lunch with Spencer, so glad he could come! it totally made it that much better. I had lunch with spence, mom, candice, dusti and the twins and that was fun! i didnt wanna go to the senior party because i was wasted tired and i had a better night anyways. Spencer and i watched scary movies! Haunting in Conneticut was scary!!! he even jumped lol it was funny but i was like scared to go anywhere alone after that, even after i dropped him off i was still kinda sketchy haha im a loser yes i know. Thank you everyone who came and thank you for everything! you guys are amazing i could not have asked for anything better. it was truely perfect!

im getting nervous here. I have not heard from byu yet and i kinda would like to know if i am going to graduate from high school. since its like three days away good to know....

Choir good thing im almost through with you!!

ok so who is the jerk who thought "we should have choir practice at flippin 5 am!" I really dislike them as of now. Im so skipping school and sleeping until i have to go to work. Maybe i wont be so pissed off. I hate when people think that they know how you should live your life better than you! Stupid Dugan....... ah! im a big girl and what i do is my business not yours, if i wanted your opinion i would ask for it. Im so sick of people. Thank goodness high school is almost over forever! I have to go to the dr. not excited. My Aunt (who was a nurse) and my Uncle( he is a heart dr.) think that they know why my hands hurt so bad and why i cant move them sometimes and why they are purple. Its called Raynauds Disease and they think i have it because i have all the symptoms. Not fun to hear. At least i have better health tho. i could complain and say oh my gosh my hands and feet hurt and get all distorted but i really am lucky because there are so many other things that could be wrong with me. Like i could still have the cancer in my arm, good thing they found it early. anywho... did my 10 wishes the other day and that was fun, i hope mrs. webb picks mine because most of mine were for the Sprouls because i think they need something fun and non stressful. They are amazing people, i love that family. I find out on Monday so fingers crossed!!! Well im pissy so im going to go to sleep

Crazy times

off to find a dress for graduation... sister wont go with me. Failed attempt. But i guess i will go by myself, V is working and so are the girls. darn oh well. I would like to take spence but i dont think he cares and he has cross fit so its kinda hard lol I may take the mother... we will see.
The flippin concert was really hard for me for some reason. I cried like a baby when they sang farewell oh man and the school song just made it that much worse. Im glad that i had him there, even tho i felt really stupid! i dont like to cry in public but oh well , every senior was crying even the men so its ok. Anything you can do i can do better was well epic fail... funny tho! good last concert!

cus i want you so.... take a chance on me... werid song

Choir concert..... eh.. I get to be creeper. Take a chance on me will be funny me and joy white girl party in the back! pretty much awesome! the other one well i dont know the words and its just scary lol it will be funny. i have a little bit until 6:30 thats when i die of embarassment! oh gosh

Walmart Woman eh.. but Senior Sluff day.. Priceless

This woman at walmart is really ticking me off!! she wont let me pick up my prints for my graduation announcements! I have been down there 3 times today. Senior Sluff day was today and i went to choir! how dumb it that! i had to and i was dancing and singing and oh boy, i was pretty hyper at this point and i creeped on Kip and it was really funny! he freaked out lol Kip, Adam and I went to eat and just kinda chill after choir and it was really fun. We like were car dancing and all that jazz it was awesome. I had a great day.. except for walmart woman... Grr... but what can you do. well i made some soy sauce chicken:) see ya

For gosh sakes its been crazy times

AHHHHH!!!! this weekend and week has been really hard on me. Things all hit the fan, when they hit man they hit hard. I just want things to be ok. I know that there is the saying that christ said he said " I never said it would be easy, i only said it would be worth it." well i think i get the it not being easy thing lol someone once said that i should not complain of the trials i get because it means that god trusts me with more. I have to keep thinking that to myself sometimes. I really try not to be like oh poor me, there are lots of people who have things so much worse than i do and i need to just be ok with me and my situation and trials. I guess this means that i need to pray really that much harder. I think i can do that one. I am very blessed to have people who love me and would do so much for me; they have shown that to me within the last little while. Count your Blessings is going to be my theme song i decided lol But anyways sorry i will get off my soap box! I made dinner tonight and i was like hey it was not totally bad!!!..... It may have been hamburger helper but hey, who is really keeping tabs on it lol I tried cookies to cheer everyone up and well i took austin to walmart and i forgot they were short on time and burned them.. so much for that idea right! haha i so dont claim betty crocker. But uh ya thats just about it i think.

Long weekend.... I got one good night out of it at least.

Working all weekend really kills you. I feel so sick right now. Like i think it was because i worked way late and for a long time so i am just beat. I didnt sleep really well last night. I keep having weird dreams and its freakin me out. I know who they are now i think so uh that is werid. I think i am broken. I was ok with it with the first girl it was not weird at all i loved it actually. But anyways uh... I got to go with Sarah to shop for Suzanne for mothers day and that was really fun. We had our secret mission of the day. I flippin love his family, i think i have said that once on here but they are amazing, they are always so good to me and i mean come on i can just chill with them when he is gone or whatever i think its awesome. The other day Suzanne said she was going to adopt me lol I pretty much have a stalker and he followed me home from work and so i was texting Sarah and she said to get my butt over there so i stopped in because dude Seth is flippin creepy!! i was scared to death. Suzanne was ready for a fight it was awesome haha she was like makin sure he was not driving by again or like waiting down the street. She had me come in for a little bit and oh man i totally crashed out on the new couch. Like Spencer came home and i was half asleep and uh i was freaking out cus i didnt know he would be back that soon. Sarah and i were layin down watching miss congeniality? ya i cant spell it oh well. But uh and the rest of the night is kinda blurry. Spencer told me what happend and i was like really? i was awake for the first part when he and i were layin there but i totally crashed out hard and he couldnt wake me up. Pretty funny to hear about it i laughed so hard lol i have not slept in weeks and i finally got to sleep and so i guess i crashed so hard that spencer would talk to me and i would like not even do anything haha embarassing i think so!!! I didnt have to be a total loser and spend Senior Cotillion alone. I am glad because i wanted to go really bad. Oh well i still got to spend some time with him and thats really all i can ask for i was happy for the time i got with him. totally worth it.16 days left till graduation.... count down totally. It wont come soon enough for two reasons. eh i better go to school... lame i hate choir and fashion, stupid class im tellin ya. Off to more work.. yay?

Drunk Cowboys....

Dude i just got home from work!!! long long night! i work tomorow and sunday also... not happy about working on sunday. I want to just sleep for the next month! even tho Courtney is awesome and we had so much fun! we made ourselves sick with mushrooms. i feel like i am like 6 months pregnant! look it too hahaha i love the people i work with i gotta say! drunk cowboys need to leave early tho because we were there for so long i about died. Then i got called a B and got swore at! stupid seth! but i was jammin on my way home from work to dont cha and fat lip! good songs! I really miss spencer tho. i try to not show it and be fine but i miss him pretty bad.

Dinosaur Park!!

So today was the preschool feild trip to the Dinosaur park! it was really fun! I am almost 18 and was running and playing like the 4 year olds....sad? maybe lol Hey its fun i love it! Kids say the darndest things im telling you. It makes me laugh so hard the things i hear in preschool! goodness. I still am eating the snacks we jacked! I am so tired! i woke up and was like totally comfortable like in the best sleep i have had in weeks and i had to get up! i was so ticked! i rolled out of bed and slumped to the shower and fell... haha ya not the best. But I get to work tonight in the back so maybe i will get some good tips? maybe. Spencers birthday and mothers day is just around the corner so i am not really spending any money on me right now. Seminary Graduation is on the 20th, ya awesome i get to go alone... i am alone for Preschool Graduation also. wow. uh I dont know why i just put all that on here.... its what i do in yearbook! but uh i hope spencer is happy i have not had coke in a really long time and i wanted to have one the other day but no.. i kept thinkin man when spencer talks to me he will be mad if i have one. eh i am so gonna sleep tomorrow because everyone else will be at senior cotillion... sad for me. I was gonna ask someone but its not in the cards this month so i am gonna like i dunno chill? my fam will be gone for part of the night so maybe i will make my own spa or something. Sleep works to. I cant wait till this month is over. I want to have things back to normal, well some since of the word. That would get me out of this little state im in i think. Anywho i am just writing on nothing so im gonna end this

Why must creepers be in Royal choir!?!?

I just saved my Fashion grade! It was at an F and i just did everything we have ever done in like 3 hours! dude thats epic. One thing gone right today... the rest i wanted to just cry. Oh dancing in choir, ya not a fan! Abba is pretty awesome Take a Chance on me, but creeper moves is not good! i dont like to creep on guys i have been to school with since like i was small. Then you have the total creeps who try stuff in the dance... AH!!! not good! Oh well Supernatural is on tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's gonna be flippin awesome! i so have lasted this day just to watch it. its day two without talking to Spencer hope he is doing better and all. I Love him and want nothing but for him to be happy. He was in my dream last night it seemed really real! it was crazy. One of those days when you just dont want to wake up because your dreams are so much better and less complex than real life. I talked to Sarah today, i flippin love her. I really like Spencers family. His mom is just awesome, i can totally just chill with her and sarah without spence around and its so fun! not saying its fun because he is not with us! not true. but i like that i can be chill with them. Uh.... now i have to write a two page paper on my pet peeve haha its a persuasive paper. so i better get off....

I GET IT!!!

So I realize i wrote today already but i just got back from a meeting with my bishop and we were talking about how to be happy; something i need help with. He said that reading the scriptures and praying and then he showed me a scripture i cant remember where it was in 1 Nephi but it said that you need your family and friends. Gotta help the fam... friends i need to realize who is a true friend. But I also said i want to be able to understand the scriptures better and he showed me 1 Nephi 15:7-9 i think and like it made since to me! it made me really happy. I need to pray for those i love, I pray for one really really well. But i need to pray for my family and even people i dislike. that is hard for me but im gonna try it! im glad that no one reads this haha but uh anywho just had to vent it!

Crazy Day!!! Day 1 also.....eh

Well today was totally crazy!! Woke up late and had to get ready like crazy fast. I get to school and remember that we are going to t.g.i fridays for yearbook and need my permission slip so i run to my moms office during second period... english.. and get it signed! I run into Tommy and thats always a thrill.....NOT!.... and then i come back for paint day in preschool!!! i was so excited, i wore like kinda ugly clothes so paint would not ruin the good ones; Paint day was canceled!!! we played at the playground instead. But we get to fourth period and we go eat. oh man im gonna miss Dunny and her crazy dance moves! Teachers are crazy. But liz was dancing like a crazed woman in her car oh man i was rollin! i thought there was a bee in her car! hahahaha. oh my and i beat v to tgi and she was ticked haha i got to listen to some Haste The Day and some Papa Roach on my way down it was awesome! and uh ya trying to stay busy for the next month. I miss him but i can do this for him! I love him. I am just tryin to make the best out of my situation. Hence the blog.... but I am gonna go die on my couch from the massive Brownie!!! ahh!! so good!

Eh...

So I decided that drama is just not fun. I wish that life was just simple like it was in the old days. Everything is so hard now. They say that getting older is fun... well i have news for you! its so stressful! Graduation, Relationships, Family, Friends; It all gets harder. Relationships just kill you. I swear every Secondhand Serenade song is my life story! sad yet true. My mom calls it my emo life haha! But anywho i just made realationships sound bad. They so are not! I just want to fix mine.... Like Fix You by Secondhand.... yes I just did that, haha loser. But guess things take time and healing first. I just hope it gets easier because this is so hard!