I am moving out as soon as possible. i am so sick and tired of her winning! i lock my door and my freakin mom opens it for her! ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!!??? room is ransacked and im so done! i just want to scream! if this is what i get for being the caring daughter who works all night and has been home today for oh like 4 minutes well then im out of here! this is freakin rediculous!!! She is not going to win! evil little brat

Two beds and a coffee machine

So i have been sick the past two days right and so this morning i woke up got ready for school and i get there and i brought the books for my Tuesday Thursday classes. So Sarah you got your way ha I'm home from school. But as I was driving OK well i always think every song i know is my life story right. well i was listening to A Savage Garden song its called Two Beds And A Coffee Machine and its more my moms life but it made me cry this morning! maybe its from being sick and being emotional but it broke my heart. It makes me have more respect for my mom though

"Two Birds and a Coffee Machine"

And She takes another step slowly she opens the door,
check that he is sleeping, pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming now its time to get away pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write

And there are children to think of babies asleep in the backseat
wonder how they'll ever make it thorough this living nightmare, but the mind is an amazing thing.
full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine but there are groceries to buy and she knows she'll have to go home

Another ditch in the road you keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast, wonder how i ever made it through

Another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write another lonely highway in the black of night.
but there is hope in the darkness you know your gonna make it

Another ditch in the road keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on and the years go by so fast silent fortress built to last wonder how i ever made it though ooh ooh ooh ooh...


crazy its my moms life story, her and my dad didnt do so well but she had three babies and she still made it. She is pretty strong

Oh My Flippin Crap!!!!

This is going to be interesting because I'm mad and hurt so look out. I HATE CANCER!!!!! cancer needs to get cancer and die because it keeps taking good loving people!! It makes me sick! it splits families, it hurts people and nothing good comes from it! why do good people have to die so young! there are millions of low life's and mean ,evil people who live till they are old and then a good man who is an inspiration to so many ,who has a loving family and has affected so many peoples lives has to go so early. i know that its life and that its how things work but that does not mean that i have to like it one bit! call this a break down but that's today! I hate when bad things happen to good people. its not fair and ya life is not fair but still.
I miss my best friend and I'm driving myself crazy trying to even let it be a semblance of normal. i have not slept and i cant eat a lot because i worry to the point of making myself sick. I cant fix anything at home. i can continue to be the hated one i don't really care anymore. that just keeps kicking me in the gut. I know that i don't have it totally bad. there are so many things to be thankful for. I just am having a melt down. I want my life to be what i want it to be but i cant even get close to it because there is always something getting in the way. I cant be the daughter my parents want even if my mom Denys that, i know that i still have the other two who think i suck and don't do anything right. I pretty much have to give that up because i have dealt with it since i was like 4 years old and ya know you can only get slapped in the face so many times. I am not a good sister because they hate me. I cant even talk to Alyssa because she just hates me and i cant do anything for Austin. Kaden and Braxton don't care. I feel like i cant do anything right. I have The Sprouls and bless them they are a heaven sent to me. They don't know how much they have taught me or have helped me. Sarah is like a sister to me i love her to death! we are pretty crazy but i love her to death. Suz man she keeps me going, she is so amazing she can talk to me and make me want to just buck it up and do things my way to make it better for me some days. i could go through the entire family for real. Mayfan ha love that little guy he is awesome! keeps me laughing. Bren helps a lot ha he tells me to do things for me and blow a bunch of money on me haha Jim, he changed me a lot. i did not get to know him for long but gosh he helped me in a lot of ways. He always had a joke for me even if he was way sick. he wow he is amazing. Spencer haha well love him to death he is an amazing man he will say he is not but he has changed my life. church is back because of him and he brought me home haha he may regret that one but i think God for Spencer every night. He drives me crazy some days and i miss him but he has really made me who i am. he may roll his eyes but he is truly amazing. He will never understand how much i think of him how highly i think of him if you will because well he is humble and will say ya right but i cant really express it to him. Its been a blessing that i met him that day at work. who would have thought.
I have to say i am thankful for my mom tho. most days we wanna kill each other but she is a good mom. she has been though a lot of crap and she drives me nuts but she is trying to help me and make me into a better person. Its not easy being a single mom and she does a pretty good job.
well now that i pretty much just threw up all my issues i feel a litte better. its not even all of them but dang. sorry if you had to read all of that im a sissy.

Kelsie is now a Wildcat!

Today was my first adventure of college! cute boys? eh some.. most had girls on their arms lol but it was kinda fun i think im going to like it! its totally new and its a new Kelsie! hope the Buckle thing comes through

home?

I am sitting at home... wow its so weird! like i have not been home all day for a long time! i like dont know what to do.. this is weird! uh so got a makeover because i let myself go to crap a little haha now im waiting for my hair color ahhh! thank heavens because its looking kinda blonde again and thats a no no! wow i so have nothing to write.. off to do the laundry!!!! its been like 3 months so guess i need to do that... eh

HUMAN DEVELOPMENT!!!!

I got my books today for school and by far my favorite book is my Human Development book. How a baby forms and all of that is just amazing to me! Some day when i am very much older and very much married i cant wait to have the experience! so cool!

College............ aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Well the last few months have been crazy. There was the crying and heartache and the confusion then it sort of got better and then came stress!! yay! hahaha bet you didnt see that coming! yes college starts pretty soon and the stress of holy crap im not a kid anymore i have to be an adult, ya that will get ya... I kinda decided on my major, scares me to death because its a big one; nursing. ya i hope i can do it. the needles in my arm scare the living crap out of me! for some reason people think i can do it. Mom and Suzanne seem to think its possible. But college is big and well you screw that up and you work at McDonalds! yep you can tell your kids you just could not do it... ya hence kelsies ulcer!! im glad Sarah takes care of me tho she is amazing! she lets me take her shopping for bling booty jeans! oh ya haha as much as Spencer must hate it hey the girl looks good! uh i cant remember what i was gonna put on here but i do remember that i am starving!!! wish i could get a rice bowl... not gonna happen.